Patton Lee Beaugus | December 19, 2010 4:45pm
The members of the Buddabings PartyMob were telling me what was gonna go down aftter they did in Santa, kneecapped Rudolph, and took over Christmas, lock stock and Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree.
Santa Claus ain’t coming this year. Santa Claus got caught doing deer, so… Santa Claus ain’t coming this year.
“As long as we take care of the department stores and toy manufacturers, we think most everybody will go along without breaking any strings in our string theory.” said Molly.
“You can still say Happy Holidays,” sang Vinnie.
“Or have a Kickin’ Kinky Kwanza.” put in D’Oliya.
"Or Merry Clydiemas," offered Clydie.
“We ain’t messing with Chaunakau.” admitted HiTone.
“We’re gonna back up the holidays to start on the Solstice.”
“And extend it after with the 12 days of Christmas like it used to be."
”Only it won’t be Christmas any more.”
"It could be Clydiemas."
“And Santa won’t be coming no more. Louis will.”
“And we even have a cover story of why Santa Claus Ain’t Coming This Year."“It’s really cool, like a real Republican Dirty Trick.”
“We’re gonna swiftboat St. Nick good.”
"More like Swift-Sleigh," corrected Clydie.
“We’re gonna put it on YouTube next October.”
“And nobody will care whether Santa comes or not.”
Rollover the picture with your mouse, and you'll see what they're talking about.
You'd better not hope, don't even try,
Forget about gifts. I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus ain’t coming this year.
Santa Claus got caught doing deer, so…
Santa Claus ain’t coming this year.
(spoken): at least not to town.
He got on a list, he got on it twice.
It tells Vice who’s naughty or nice.
Santa Claus ain’t coming this year.
Santa Claus got caught doing deer, so…
Santa Claus ain’t coming this year.
He had it on with Blizten.
And with Donner, too.
He did Cupid up the rump
And he really liked it, too.
(And the reindeer liked it, too.)
“Pretty slick, huh?” said D'Oliya, spilling some brandy down her front.
“Pretty sick.” I replied, wondering if she'd let me clean up the spilled brandy with my tongue.
Molly watched me watching the spilled brand drip into D'Oliya's cleavage. Her look said that she thought I was a horndog, and she kinda liked it. Or maybe it said she thought I was a typical guy. Or maybe the look said she wanted to do me under the Christmas tree by the fire.
I think I was losing it, too, if I hadn't already lost it.
